i’ll see you when we’re stars again

exercicedestyle.tumblr.com

“The desire to go home that is a desire to be whole, to know where you are, to be the point of intersection of all the lines drawn through all the stars, to be the constellation-maker and the center of the world, that center called love. To awaken from sleep, to rest from awakening, to tame the animal, to let the soul go wild, to shelter in darkness and blaze with light, to cease to speak and be perfectly understood.”
― Rebecca Solnit, Storming the Gates of Paradise: Landscapes for Politics

this could be more loving
even without reading on, I’m sure it could, I always could have been, Now: I shut up and focus my heart, memory, knowledge, effort and care on You

but i’ve said this before
and i’m trolling through the record, seeing i’m a sinner
and how sick i’ve been of men making such music, self-pity
wallowing for forgiveness, from whom? no god, no woman,
no one with the authority to forgive but the You you must become:
you must become that boss, that mother, that father; all those things that were going to save you are just a map and a road to what you must become for yourself

~

i said it. need any of the next stuff be said? as ever, every post i write is fresh, live material to latch back onto and climb up or descend the staircase

to someone who matters
and now, I will attempt to say it to no one
until you come and become someone

i wrote some stuff this now-distant morning about a friend’s post…someone jumped all over him for being self-indulgent, vain, insensitive…i forget the rest

every blank space is for celebrating making it to life at all

we are the ones who made it

we are the ones

look around

think of all the people you can’t see — they’re just like you
but we love to come online and complain
complaining unites us
anguish, discomfort, being bothered, not having enough success
not being loved enough—not hearing we’re loved enough
laboring alone
loneliness kills us
making stuff saves us

so what I said to the poet was,

some people will stay glued to the computer thinking more and more about the virus, posting every news article, going insane. let them. poets do the work of thinking through what stuff means, what’s timeless, what isn’t urgent but deeply important…the looming fear of sickness and death is, at least for me in my creative work and worldview, the standard — love and death are the two enduring things in the human world; they are the forces that make everything make sense…so I dig your using this virus as a metaphor to remind us all what is worth staying alive for — poets and artists have always done it, and I’m excited to see what gets said in coming weeks as people migrate indoors and online from whatever their normal work-life is — it’ll be a beautiful coming together, and surely there will be thrashing and complaining and venting — I welcome it all, as a fan of watching the human condition play out online in real-time as every person faces their own mortality, their hopes and dreams, their fears…and time carries us all along for as long as it does, nobody knows when our show ends, and so we hope and love and dream and sing and play for as long as we’re here. and I like being here with you, thanks for keeping room to read my thoughts and visions ✨ see you when we’re stars again

oh, i remember where this went now (even though this is a tangent and maybe incomprehensible, unfollowable

the trying to get from selfishness, anger, shame, fear to love, trust, hope, faith

I need pictures of Virginia like this one to get me talking to myself in the voice of the Divine Feminine

Medium is just another place to paste and adorn my latest stab through what Steven Pressfield calls Resistance

well that’s interesting, didn’t expect to find that just now — what I went searching for was quotes I may have tweeted (a specific word) because every stab into blank space you dare write is a longing, a wanting to cure some loss, connect some disconnection; it is wild to live in this electricity of going forward to save your life [warm nostril snort] because community and truth are everything and you’re trying to stay cohesive

it’s all a trying to find the right people, one person trying to merge with many; this is the subtext of every work of art and certainly every online post

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Geoffrey Lewis

filling the blinking cursor with whatever comes up, letting the leviathan lead me to glory, singing popular music covers on video on Smule too, speaker, rambler