ok, might actually turn this into something and do my job for a change

working out in jeans and dress shoes like sorry i’m on acid from the night before but good morning to your sweet little workouts, San Franciscans in this bougie hotel that cost me a lot of money to me—money is relative; it was nice to be lux for a night or two, before flying one-way to Austin (yes, I am just my fear and my story, my father, money, hope, antagonism; I put my writing fingers in the middle of old works in progress and make them something else, though inevitably autobiography, while other men are up on lightpoles ~ words I use to be grateful for community, nation; Native Americans are an interesting subject: indigenous people; and as I write the words, women come to mind instantly who’d hate me——men like me have fetishes for being hated by hot, righteous, subliminal women — this post is now dreck like all my other ones, runoff waste water, which clears the space for my real kindness in real life face to face, when later I talk to the faces who right now I ignore because we’re all looking down at our screens; we don’t want to get up and out (yet): nature is too bright, communion must be scheduled,

enjoy your podcast xoxo see you onscreen for name game blame game i’m just crushing you in my mind first

i like the state of my dreams and who i’m sharing them with
seeing details in the viewfinder feeling responsible for the city

I’m just an operator of other peoples hearts and I am mildly concerned for Yasmeen because I think she’s under the impression that I’m her boyfriend is gonna move in with her but now I’m way more interested in moving to the hotel kabuki in San Francisco and believing in my talent and marrying myself mostly in my ability to collaborate with another artist and make 1+1 = 3 without the mass of domestic partnership I’d rather have it done professionally you know they clean the sheets food is there the gyms there everything is there and all it takes is you doing thousand dollar work multiple times and I like the idea of a goal to go out and see Jesse in Germany that feels like the move Yasmeen is too up-and-down and I also know that she’s gonna be in the country in a few months and I think she’ll cut ties whenever it’s best for her I think she’s pretty selfish and family oriented and self oriented and is too young and has too much ahead of her I think she’s going to use me and cut me out whenever is good for her so I might focus on money that’s what I believe in I don’t mind that’s the truth at all peace

this holy saint on fire

confabulation (the psychiatric definition): fabricate imaginary experiences as compensation for loss of memory

Saturday 2/25/23 a wonderful state of achievement, patience, having arrived in understanding, temperance, patience with aggression and refusal; perfect balance of good and evil, heaven and hell, shadow and brilliance, dank drippy violence and terror mixed with heavenly woman and child; nature, full-throttle, a clear pane of glass inside me, understanding of ego and the structures of the world; the thing now to understand more is food, supply chains, but also how oil and meat interact on the grill

If they’re not better than you at something, they’re not for you. Making a church out of cutting out the mediocre

Who… not how. Always.

You’re one person away from your win.

free your mind and build your bank account…

collage of seasonal awareness
finding your true self by hitting record in many different mindsets
making a total human being and identity

shatters my apathy
step into the iris

all wise men say the same thing

i would rather create the lover out of myself

these preppies don’t know what the fuck level i’m on

composed but not sent after croissant egg swiss tomato

osprey emerging from the sea with a barracuda in its talons

if
suffering to death is cool
you can call me miles davis

there might be no conclusion

she dropped dead at the same time i saw that woman

erotic aqueous transfusion
lilting lily
pity spread everywhere

ready for the hilt
pissing (pudding) and writing

Who else did I like I like Michael Jackson y’all and I actually would where am I not connected to O.J. Simpson yeah adored him and prince most interesting genius traffic noises unbelievable thank you for the tie

Hotel latte at the top of my game with Elvis after disrespecting Clark’s time

embrasure
protopia (protoplasm)
agree on what the model should be
do we accept imperfection

the promise of VR: infinite depth
we crave hard boundaries
the brain and the body don’t get along

why did we even need walls?
what is architecture? what is scale?
put on a headset or there is a mother

Marge Piercy, Woman on the Edge of Time (1976)

“we’ve become more mechanized”
we obey what we think we need to be
we could revise our expectations
this takes letting go of the past and being present

the slippage
to what degree
you are computer-generated
we obey Google Calendar
because we love obedience
courting worthiness with every swipe of the digital pen
inking our fingerprint where someone will look
building a castle in their mind
but we are always just one & there are 149 more

every individual seeking audience
all your other identities

representation and bias is just who we are; the domain of the absurd, uncanniness; so we fight against who we are, refusing to stay still — this will be the fight to the death; in the meantime: beauty, wonder, pleasure

life as speculative fiction
feeding sexual desire
comparing what i see to what i love;
continually discovering what my set of references is; the past and the present are one, one long immersion; time and death become the problems, the floor off which everything made of light bounces; being right about light gets one nowhere ~ all that’s there is the good, true and beautiful … sex comfort robots; learning the names of other people’s families ~ Andre Gide vs. “I hate families!”; Don DeLillo from White Noise: family leads to fiction

real dolls not for sex but companionship
and data doubles
our economic struggle is entertainment

“Your work isn’t a high stakes, nail-biting professional challenge. It’s a form of play. Lighten up and have fun with it.” — Sol Lewitt

she could go on and on
about the mirrored devil

DJ Spooky Paul Miller
who was Paul, who was a miller
Paul Milker wanted young boy penis
how could he be blamed?

yes; hashing things out with the memory of my molester, knowing an artist bears wounds healed and unhealed; shame and courage intertwine; everything’s valid

how does he become a spooky disc jockey
running the horses around
meaning versus dreams

credit
lineage
provenance when we’re all the same person, if a poet speaks for and to all selves; a poet is just voice, pure awareness which can be JPG’d and named and sorted in the machine that, yes, rules us ~ but the question of the artist is who’s going to be my ruler on a moment by moment basis; we are maybe not able to come further than being a well-behaved child

the world versus her artistic voice
what the men’s world demands of a woman

coexisting across planes of reality

we all have data doubles
epistemological interventions

archives ripe for the taking as training data

traveling in the world yes
the body is the “social VR application”
i am here to be a hard man
let me be the place where rage is taken out
our rage is so practiced
the nature of listening and typing
dynamic in culture
we got more voices involved
what do we want to preserve and maintain
build wonder chambers for other people

she’s looking into her brain; she’s nervous
ossification of disciplinary categories
circumventing
the 1600s a starting point and reference (regency) points
yes these words being spoken i want to be mine; writing the externalization of downloading — slowness is a virtue; topical and pressing ~ insane prose

being worthy of our bios
how long we’ve been writing them
electronic gesture across the arts
thinking on the front lines
imaginative

show you what i’m made of
i never get tired of welcoming people to my shows

i’m here to wake you up

preserve the integrity of human beings in something more than law

something more than law
one would have to believe
in more than a peace enforced by threat of violence

men and their record-straight

she (female artist) made her mirror

machine says drop off Geoff on the left
2/25/23 10th and Folsom San Francisco

it is a pleasure to be going the same speed on the highway (as a passenger) as another driver, like we are on the same couch going 70 miles an hour

King Street
Embarcadero
2 LEFT LANES

i was work in a gas station
barbie
i become alienated from those who don’t get the joke
so one is sovereign in silence
the only (intensity) distance is between you and the other

are harshness and severity my true lovers? the immense loneliness now begins i can tolerate

climb out to change
let it happen, track it
simple brushstrokes in the studio